episode iii, the backstroke of the west

since my blog is down and i have ample jetlag hours on my hands, here are some more goodies from episode iii, the backstroke of the west:

*** cast ***
anakin - (allah gold; great hopeless situation warrier)
obi wan - (ratio the tile)
padme - (the plum of)
the emporer - (west leader)
darth vader - (reaching the west of reaches; south host)
chancellor palpatine - (speaker d)
general grevious - (space general)
yoda - (the master of)
mace windu - (text how big teacher)
the jedi - (the hopeless situation elder; the presybyterian church)
the clones - (the gram)

*** opening scroll ***
episode iii, the backstroke of the west

"a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...."
("long time ago in the faraway galaxy")

"star wars"
("star war")

episode iii
("the third gathers")

revenge of the sith
("the backstroke of the west")

war! the republic is crumbling under atacks by the ruthless sith lord, count dooku. there are heroes on both sides. evil is everywhere.
("the war came! the republic encountered.")

in a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, general grevious, has swept into the republic capital and kidnapped chancellor palpatine, leader of the galactic senate.
("two squares fight the vehemence. the improbity fills the world")

as the separatist droid army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two jedi knights lead a deparate mission to rescue the captive chancellor....
("the space general of the alliance is skillful kidnap the d the speaker the conduct. the proper abruption alliance troops tries ratio prosperous drive with the.")

*** first meeting between anakin and padme ***

padme: "oh anakin"
("hi, gold")

anakin: "i've missed you, padme"
("dear, how are you")

padme: "there were whispers you've been killed"
("heard of you is killed")

anakin: "i'm alright. feels like we've been apart for a lifetime. it might have been if the chancellor hadn't been kidnapped they'd have never brought us back from the outer rim"
("i did not die, is not. apparently we will separate the lifetime similar. while hearing of the speaker were kidnap, i thought of that i want to attend the salvation activity)

padme: "wait, not here"
("etc., here not line")

anakin: "yes, here. i'm tired of all this deception, i don't care if they know we're married"
("i had enough of these politicseses. i think only of to get married with you")

padme: "anakin don't say things like that"
("do not say these")

anakin: "are you alright? you're trembling. what's going on?"
("are you o.k. you is shivering. how")

padme: "something wonderful has happened. annie, i'm pregnant"
("waiting for the happy event condescends to come. dear, i was pregnant")

anakin: "that's... that's wonderful"
("this... this is really too stick")

padme: "what are we gonna do?"
("we should how do")

anakin: "we're not going to worry about anything right now, alright? this is a happy moment, the happiest moment of my life"
("i no longer worried the other thing now. good. this is a happy time, the most happy time of inside of whole life")

*** two scenes later, in padme's penthouse ***

padme: "annie, i want to have our baby back home on naboo. we could go to the lake country where no one would know . . . where we would be safe. i could go early-and fix up the baby's room. i know the perfect spot, right by the gardens."
("i living the child's time you must at home. make the home a little bit more safe. i can breakfast for the new house that baby tidy up it. it has a great father. a great hopeless situation warrior")

anakin: "you are so beautiful!"
("the beauty that you are like this")

padme: "it's only because i'm so in love . . . "
("i let me become the beauty to your love")

anakin: "no, it's because i'm so in love with you."
("not, i love you love deeper")

padme: "so love has blinded you?"
("your meaning is a love to tie up you")

anakin: "that's not exactly what i meant"
("that is not my meaning")

padme: "that's probably true"
("at least i say to half")


Anonymous Eno said...

OMG!!!! I can't stop laughing.. HAHAHAHAHAAAAA :DDDDDDD

July 2, 2005 4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So funny..

July 3, 2005 12:00 AM  
Blogger Time Bandit said...

m gonna die laughing. they all start talking like yoda... worse!

July 3, 2005 8:55 PM  
Blogger Time Bandit said...

please post more of this stuff!

July 4, 2005 9:12 AM  
Blogger GaijinBiker said...

I wonder if they still inverted Yoda's sentence structure...

July 4, 2005 2:58 PM  
Anonymous gallah said...

friend much funnyness is come in blog of you.. i am hav the amazements form. and for i give to you the many thank.
please be the visit xanga concept at xanga.com/boongalla
thank most!!

July 4, 2005 7:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think this double-translation is better than the original english:
padme: "it's only because i'm so in love . . . "
("i let me become the beauty to your love")
- Dave

July 6, 2005 7:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Here's hoping that someone procures a copy of this particular version of the film and makes it available to us on... well, something, be it torrent or Ares or whatever! XD

July 6, 2005 12:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am abit offended by how you guys react to it.
first of all, the casting..
do you know, chinese characters are like... More than gazillion?

there are many different same sounding characters but meaning different things,
just for example Jin= would be like alot of difrerent characters with different meanings. Jin in this case used as "gold " as meaning because generaly it's better to use that in a name than say using the character for JIN = which means a pound[measurement].

This is why you don't ask people " how you write/say my name in chinese"
if you ask you don't ask what it means again in english, it's not the same, it's different languages, you guys should undersatnd that by translating it BACK into english from the words in which they try to make possible for the chinese speakers to pronounce, you totaly changed the meanings.

a name does not MEAN specific things, a name can't be seperated into characters and translate character for character, that's why we don't ask what is John mean and what is SON mean and why you put it together as Johnson....


July 6, 2005 2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ahahah fucking singaporeans

July 6, 2005 2:06 PM  
Anonymous Mishi said...


July 6, 2005 2:14 PM  
Anonymous magelet said...

Whoa, reading these lines just killed me. SHOOOOO FUNNEH 8D

July 6, 2005 3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous: It's funny because the translator DOESN'T know what you just explained. Inexperienced translator (or a machine) creates gibberish as demonstrated here..

July 6, 2005 7:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DAMN!!!! I've been crying and hitting my head against the keyboard... :))))))))))))))

July 6, 2005 7:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg this is worse than engrish =D

i must get a copy of this, this is too rich

July 6, 2005 9:34 PM  
Anonymous Sharde said...

Wow. This is an awesome way to make money. Make copies of the movie and sell it to the people on here who want to laugh at the subtitles. I'd buy it.

July 7, 2005 1:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

??????? ???????? :)

July 7, 2005 3:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


July 7, 2005 3:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Go back, read the translated subtitles again, but this time do it with Jar-Jar's voice in mind. In many lines it is almost perfect. I suspect this is how Lucas wrote Jar-Jar's lines in the first two movies.

July 7, 2005 4:38 AM  
Anonymous bimwad said...

[quote]I am abit offended by how you guys react to it.
first of all, the casting.. [/quote]

First off I am Chinese, and this is hilarious! Yes I know we're making fun of it, so what? All they needed to do was get someone who actually understood English to copy, not translate the audio dialog into subtitles, instead of the double manual / automatic conversion. LOL! =|-D

July 7, 2005 5:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROF LOL, I'm gonna die laughing. This is soooo funny. Thank you for sharing.....crying laughing tooo much.

July 7, 2005 6:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful, thank you for typing it! Though, you know, it would be less work to put it up on bittorrent... :)

July 7, 2005 7:41 AM  
Anonymous Deathespecialy4ucomes said...

hey, person complaining about making fun of translations, get that wooki out of your ass ok, if they cant be bothered finding a DECENT translator to do the job and theyr gonna do it sloppy, so be it, if its funny we laugh.
Besides, my asian friends think its hilarious, they arent offended, so go give first aid ur already dishevelled hair projection!

July 7, 2005 11:32 AM  
Blogger Jason said...


*bubbles foaming*

July 7, 2005 11:54 AM  
Blogger jeremy said...

hi guys, thanks for all of your comments! sorry i can't make it available on bittorrent. first reason is i could get into a wee bit of trouble- this site has already been picked up by the lucasfilm folks so no sense in pushing it. also, i have no idea how to do that type of stuff. =)

July 7, 2005 3:16 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

This is the most beautiful thing ever....I cannot stop laughing! I have to get me one of these!

July 7, 2005 3:40 PM  
Anonymous Iktoma said...

Here's one from the cover of a pirate dvd of Bend it like Beckham. It's like one of those Markov-chain text generator -- it sounds something like English, but what does it mean?


India descendants young girl's Jie Xi (Pa Mingte Na Gela's decorations) that lives in Britain ardently loves the football, and she has paste the small house of oneself in image Bei Kehanmu of onself play bill and photograph full, and hopes that the skill to play balls of one self can be equally remarkable with Xiao Bei. One day, when the sphere is kicked in the outstanding west in the park.

OK, well, that explains it. Excuse me now while I go play balls of one self.

July 9, 2005 7:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's excellent. Really funny. And considering how bad Lucas' dialogue was in that film maybe the english chinese should be dubbed in...

July 13, 2005 4:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I literally passed out from laughing

July 14, 2005 4:31 AM  
Anonymous FroxicTog said...

Oh gods, that's hilarious.
Concerning putting it on the torrents or something, that's overkill -- all one would really need is the subtitle definition file, which can then be applied to a legit copy of the movie for even /more/ fun.

July 14, 2005 10:11 PM  
Blogger duanherself said...

this is really too stick!!! LMAO

July 15, 2005 1:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:D I love it how "I'm alright" was translated to "I did not die"

How positive...

July 15, 2005 4:18 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

regarding the offended Chinese dude...

First of all I love deathespecialy4ucomes' response to that offended Chinese guy who's so anal retentive when he farts only dogs hear him..."get that Wookie out of your ass!!!" *LOLOLOL*

Second of all, dude, there's no excuse for mistranslating "Star War" when IT'S RIGHT FREAKIN THERE, JUST COPY IT. No excuse whatsoever.

Oh, and I'm Chinese, and I was laughing so hard I was tearing up with my head mashed into my keyboard while my sides were splitting. It's a lot easier to laugh without that Wookie up my ass =P

July 15, 2005 8:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I am cutting & pasting this from your post:

Second of all, dude, there's no excuse for mistranslating "Star War" when IT'S RIGHT FREAKIN THERE, JUST COPY IT. No excuse whatsoever.

Seems YOU cannot spell - even when it is RIGHT FREAKIN' THERE...:)

July 20, 2005 2:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is hilarious. I'm Chinese and I really don't see a problem with it. It has nothing to do with the fact that it's Chinese, it's just mocking ineptitude at it's finest no matter what country it's from!

July 20, 2005 5:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My brother and I have been star wars fans since we saw Episode VI, which becuause our mother is a bit weird was when I was three and he was... um... barely a few months old. I stopped breathing for laughing and he, well... he was on the floor unable to stand. this is beautiful.

July 20, 2005 5:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is just magnificent! I don't think I've stopped laughing about it or raving about it to my friends in weeks!

Jeremy you are a god! PLEASE POST MORE!

As for LucasFilm trying to intimidate you about copyright etc., you're not doing this for profit, you can acknowledge that Lucas created all the characters etc. Lucas himself has usually been pretty nice to people who do satires and the like (check out Hardware Wars sometime). Remind
LucasFilm there is such a thing as 'fair use'.

Alternatively, do as someone else suggested and post the subtitle file from the DVD.

The wish power are together in big elephant with disheveled hair you having..

July 22, 2005 2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, they really messed up the translations. I think some non-chinese speaker or a translation program must have translated because the mistakes seem to be a misunderstanding of the many possible meanings for words that sound the same. For example, the word for elephant sounds like the word for general sounds like the word for front (as in war front). Or square, which sounds exactly the same as 'sides' (as in two sides of a conflict). Finally, there is no way to translate chinese grammar exactly to english without it making no sense whatsoever. It was fun, trying to translate the mangled english back to chinese and see what they were really trying to say, elephants aside. :) What a laugh, thanks.

July 23, 2005 9:03 AM  
Blogger limextreme said...

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

July 23, 2005 7:51 PM  
Blogger limextreme said...

OMG! It's so funny! My dad actually got a copy of Star Wars EIII that has the same problem with the subtitles! I was laughing my head off when I saw it! Oh and I'm adding a link to your blog on my blog! You're blog is really nice!

July 23, 2005 7:52 PM  
Anonymous rentahero said...

Is there any way that the subtitle track from the DVD using SubRip or something so that we can enjoy the full hilarity of this once the DVD is released?

July 24, 2005 3:06 AM  
Blogger jeremy said...

hi guys, i downloaded subrip but there doesn't seem to be any way to extract the subtitles as one file. if any of you know how to do that, let me know.

July 24, 2005 8:27 AM  
Blogger tIcKLeMe said...

omfg. hilarious shit. i couldnt help but fwd this url to my friends. ;D

July 27, 2005 3:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

............................................................ROFLING TO HARD TO TYPE

July 31, 2005 8:07 AM  
Blogger GraCie said...

Ah hahaha... I wish I had that disc too. I can imagine the serious movie scene with totally bad subtitles. I could die laughing. Hillarious!

Here's a slang that Hokien people use to comment something

"Wah Lau Eh!" aka OMG, WTF, WTH.

LOL. Send in the troopseses!

August 1, 2005 6:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can you repost your original set of pics and captions? they were so funny and I want to see them again!

August 4, 2005 12:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


August 5, 2005 3:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that should read:www.origamiboulder.com, for similar fun

August 5, 2005 4:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've a project i've had on the shelf for awhile very much related to this stuff:


August 8, 2005 2:35 AM  
Anonymous Zartok the Vehement said...

This is too stick!

August 9, 2005 8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

incredible. thank you so much for posting this!!! its hilarious. started crying from laughing =D

August 21, 2005 8:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


comparing the two, i gotta say that the translated retranslated dialogue is a lot more engaging and creative.

oh well.

August 28, 2005 3:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG! We're being attacked by the grahm crackers! He he.

September 27, 2005 5:01 AM  
Anonymous SkAdi said...

Even Yoda speaks better than them

October 8, 2005 2:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually this exist out on the net nowadays! Downloaded it yesterday from http://thepiratebay.org/.
It requires Bittorrent programs though.
And i promise, its HILARIOUS!!

October 17, 2005 7:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is I love. is good XD

November 19, 2005 3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least Yoda makes some sense here, this is some funny shit

December 12, 2005 8:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, I can't tell the difference between that dialogue and Lucas'. Seriously.

January 11, 2006 8:38 AM  
Anonymous Ryuzul said...

*died due to excessive laughing*

April 2, 2006 3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ow pain cant stop laughing to breathe

August 15, 2006 5:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"that's not exactly what i meant"
You and me both Allah Gold...

August 16, 2006 9:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


August 16, 2006 3:52 PM  
Blogger xenobiologista said...

I think the Anonymous who replied "ahahah fucking singaporeans" to the Anonymous who wrote the 4-paragraph rant was right on the money.

Come to Malaysia, we have better pirated DVDs. (My version of "Come to the dark side, we have cookies.")

Funny subtitles are one of the benefits of living in a multilingual country. You can watch the most boring educational documentaries adn they're still hilarious.

August 23, 2007 10:58 AM  
Blogger E to the M said...

"This is what who fuck" is def. my fave.

September 12, 2007 11:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

padme: "so love has blinded you?"
("your meaning is a love to tie up you")

Ohh, bondage, kinky.

February 5, 2008 7:29 AM  

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