episode iii, the backstroke of the west

* edit - an updated version of backstroke of the west is here- you can comment there too, as the comments seem to be broken here.

i saw revenge of the sith last weekend at a local theater with my friend joe who was in town on business. it was much better than the first two movies and a fitting end (err.. middle) to the star wars saga.

the next day i was walking past my friendly dvd salesperson and decided to check out revenge of the sith. i was assured the quality was good and for 7rmb why not give it a shot.

aside from the counters on the top of the screen and a distorted perspective it was ok- not high quality but watchable. the captions were a hilarious surprise- a direct english translation of the chinese interpretation of what the script was saying. it varied from being somewhat close to the script to being 'far far away'....

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
amazingly enough, the beginning scroll is mistranslated even though the words are right there on the screen.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
star war (just one)

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
'the backstroke of the west' is the english translation of the chinese title.

main screen turn on
anakin: "this is where the fun begins"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan: "let them pass between us"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anonymous doomed fighter pilot: "they're all over me"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan, space battle strategist.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan grows impatient with r2.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the chancellor warns anakin and obi wan that count dooku is... big.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan assures the chancellor that it's no problem.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
count dooku talks tough.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
that's chancellor palpatine speaking, talking about obi wan.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
general grevious gets some bad news.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the general considers punishing his troops.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin taunts general grevious.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the general fires off a snappy comeback

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
ummm... ????

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
we gonna rock down to... lemon avenue.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
padme the homemaker

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin tells padme about his dream.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
on the hoof - idiom, 'not yet butchered; alive. used especially of cattle'

star wars iii: backstroke of the west

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
yoda: "premonitions? premonitions?"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
sounds like something yoda might actually say... maybe.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin is haunted by dreamses.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin gets frustrated with the jedi council.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the chancellor tells anakin the story of darth plagueis the wise, aka the dintmeister.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
plagueis learned how to become... strong and big.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
but he lost his power and died...

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
...then was killed by his land, so he could sleep. a tragic story indeed.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
this seemed completely random until i figured out that 'jedi council' was being translated into chinese then back to english as 'the presbyterian church'.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin: "obi wan, may the force be with you"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
tion medon: "on the tenth level, thousands of battledroids"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan: "hello there"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the general tells his troops to back off, he'll take care of obi wan.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
...but is it big?

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the chancellor delivers anakin some bad news.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
mace windu reads the chancellor his rights.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin bargains for the life of his cuckoldry.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin gets a new name.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the emporer: "rise!"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the emporer tells anakin... umm... something.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin: "i agree."

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the emperor: "do what must be done, lord vader."

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
yoda: "goodbye chewbacca."

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
c3po tells the amorous couple to get a room.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
padme: "no thank you, c3po."

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan: "who could have done this?"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan can't face what he must do.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
yoda insists...

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
...and explains that the person he once knew noed longer is.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
how about a snickers?

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin tells padme about his new virtues, now being both strong and big.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
padme doesn't want strong and big- she also doesn't want to walk on a road meant for running about.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan has heard enough.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
meanwhile, the emperor reveals his true ambitions.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin taunts, but...

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
...obi wan stands on higher ground...

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
...and proclaims his love.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
this translation is classic. darth vader is actually shouting, "nooooooooooooo..."

* edit - an updated version of backstroke of the west is here.

due to popular request i've (finally) figured out how to use subrip to pull the complete english subtitle file off the dvd- here they are in all their glory. check out this awesome backstroke anime art!


Anonymous Amit said...

Damn I knew I should have bought this when there. It's worth it just for the subtitles! Be worth making up a 6-DVD set for $4. I wonder if all the subtitles are still bad, since actual originals were released - have you noticed if the good quality transfer ones (i.e. DVD copies rather than screeners/screenings) actually use the real subitltes or do they also do the dual translation?

June 9, 2005 2:28 PM  
Blogger Adam Edwards said...

Wow. I am sending this to our Star Wars mailing list at the office.

June 14, 2005 10:36 AM  
Blogger jeremy said...

amit- i haven't actually bought some good quality transfer dvds yet so i'm not sure. there ought to be some good copies out there if they're taken from a master copy.

initial- lemme know their feedback. =)

June 14, 2005 11:10 AM  
Blogger wulong said...

GENIUS! I laughed my ass off.

June 14, 2005 6:57 PM  
Blogger John said...


I thought you might like to know that I linked to this entry. Great work! Keep it up.


June 15, 2005 9:31 AM  
Blogger james said...

LOL, thats too funny.

June 15, 2005 7:57 PM  
Blogger Bonnie said...


I'm passing this around the office!

June 18, 2005 2:51 AM  
Anonymous chris said...


boing boing'ed you've been

June 18, 2005 2:56 AM  
Anonymous rev rob said...

Having been "made by the Presbyterian Church" myself, I wonder what amazing powers I haven't been exercising?
You've been boing-boinged ... that's pretty cool!

June 18, 2005 3:00 AM  
Anonymous Big T said...

MORE! Please... more... Even if transcribed and in plaintext, I must have more!

June 18, 2005 4:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Thanks so much for sharing..came here via boingboing!

June 18, 2005 4:04 AM  
Blogger Tekrat said...

I will buy this off you. This freaking great!

June 18, 2005 4:42 AM  
Anonymous Per said...

This version of SW must be included on ALL future collectors edition of Star Wars.

June 18, 2005 4:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God, oh my, hilarious frickin tranlation of enjoyable french fries.


June 18, 2005 4:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i picked up a bootleg of Minority Report in NYC Chinatown a couple years ago which also had awful subtitles, including an instance in the first five minutes in which an exclaimation that sounded pretty much like "Shit!" was subtitled as "Shift!" If you're not gonna learn how to curse, you shouldn't bother with foriegn languages at all

June 18, 2005 4:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious...I'm going to cop a copy today...thanks for putting a smile on my face!!!

June 18, 2005 5:38 AM  
Anonymous Troopses said...

Toast me! I say you got to toast me!

June 18, 2005 5:48 AM  
Blogger logovo said...

Oy vey!
Thank you for posting these. I'll just go lie down for a bit.


June 18, 2005 6:21 AM  
Blogger logovo said...

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

June 18, 2005 6:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sheer brilliance!

this is the stuff all your base videos are made of!

June 18, 2005 7:12 AM  
Blogger Assistant Atlas said...

See, this is why I hate anti-piracy measures-- I'm never gonna be able to find a copy of this in LA. I would pay twice as much for this than the inevitable Sith DVD is gonna cost. They don't sell pirated material on eBay, do they?

June 18, 2005 7:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's an improvement on Lucas' script if you ask me.

June 18, 2005 7:32 AM  
Blogger Christoff said...

Good stuff, let's see some more!

June 18, 2005 8:31 AM  
Blogger Russ said...

Haha, I just got back from Xi'an, and picked up three different copies of the Sith, in search for that "perfect copy" out there that I never found. I never bothered to check the subtitles on that one, since i figured most would be terrrible, like the "danny the dog" dvd (aka unleashed) had subtitles from some Dolph Lundgren movie. I was like, "wow, I've never seen Morgan Freeman swear so much in one sentence!!!"

June 18, 2005 8:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's an improvement on Lucas' script if you ask me.

We are in agreement, anonymous brother.

June 18, 2005 9:09 AM  
Anonymous Karen said...

I'd say something's been gained (rather than lost)in the translation. Riotous! I'll be going to China within the next year - please the fates that I can find a copy.

June 18, 2005 9:33 AM  
Anonymous Alex Cline said...

Please transcribe this. It would do nothing but make me happy.

June 18, 2005 9:48 AM  
Blogger Time Bandit said...

where can i find this dvd???

June 18, 2005 9:56 AM  
Blogger jeremy said...

hi all! thanks for the comments.

initael- i guess it spread pretty far outside your office distribution list!

alex cline- i'll transcribe a couple of scenes. takes a while to do so i'll limit it to some of the cheesier dialogue.

time bandit- i found this copy in the xiang yang market. my sister tried to buy another copy but it was a different (better) transfer with subtitles from another movie.

June 26, 2005 12:49 AM  
Anonymous evenstar6q said...

absolutely priceless.

July 1, 2005 6:02 PM  
Anonymous Mikhail said...

Wow! Worth it just for the subtitles :)

July 4, 2005 4:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is there any way the pictures can be posted elsewhere? quite a few of the images are broken.

July 6, 2005 6:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is absolutely great. I laughed my ass off. They should sell it as an offical alternative release.

July 6, 2005 9:27 AM  
Blogger Richie said...

This is 10 kinds of awesome.

July 6, 2005 12:05 PM  
Blogger Rinoa said...


July 6, 2005 1:18 PM  
Anonymous Conan899 said...



*passes out from laughing so much!(for real)*

July 6, 2005 1:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i want to buy it

July 6, 2005 1:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i want to buy it

July 6, 2005 1:46 PM  
Anonymous Mishi said...

This site is too awesome o.o

July 6, 2005 3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd love to have a copy of thay video.

If you have a spare one, please send it over here to Manila, will pay for your expenses :D


July 6, 2005 4:32 PM  
Anonymous ???? said...

? ????? ? ??????!

??????????? ????.

July 6, 2005 7:46 PM  
Blogger Gamer Joe said...

Hilarious. I want a copy of this awesome version!

July 6, 2005 8:03 PM  
Blogger Kamiyu Bidan said...

This is... this is genius. Please rip it, then put it up as a torrent. I'll seed this copy... forever! LOL.

July 6, 2005 8:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

?????????? ) ? ????? ???? ))))))))) ?? ??? ????? ??????? )

July 6, 2005 8:19 PM  
Blogger Sasoridai said...

I am soo going to check around sidestalls for these subs.

July 6, 2005 8:38 PM  
Anonymous Mikko said...


July 6, 2005 8:40 PM  
Anonymous Rasmus Sten said...

You should really make a DVD-rip and put up a .torrent of it somewhere. :-)

July 6, 2005 8:46 PM  
Anonymous Birdie said...

Comedy gold! That last screen really wraps it up :D

July 6, 2005 9:05 PM  
Blogger Ycros said...

For the love of...!

Please rip this, or at least the subtitles! This is gold. :D

July 6, 2005 9:15 PM  
Blogger Anshul said...


July 6, 2005 9:32 PM  
Blogger K said...

The Backstroke of the West, I'm still laughing.....
I want, I want, please post a torrent somewhere. But, as has been noted earlier, George Lucas should have hired this guy as his script-writer.

July 6, 2005 10:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

keep refreshing and the pics will get back. damn. this is a funny.

July 6, 2005 11:47 PM  
Blogger Shaheen said...


etc., etc.

July 6, 2005 11:48 PM  
Blogger Shaheen said...

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

July 6, 2005 11:48 PM  
Anonymous Rychan said...

Ya know I think they mistook Yoda for Golem there... "Dreamses"

Hilarious find. I'm in agreement that you should torrent this somewhere.

July 6, 2005 11:57 PM  
Blogger Mr. Austin said...

I've got to find out why the Chinese think we're having sex when we're frustrated. Anyone get that?


July 7, 2005 1:10 AM  
Anonymous coercri said...

great stuff man , well done an thank you...

July 7, 2005 2:37 AM  
Anonymous chaosjap said...

wtf?! guess the chinese are better off pirating videos than actually editing them.

July 7, 2005 3:20 AM  
Blogger Lisa P said...

My sides hurt from laughing so hard! I love it! How can I get my hands on a copy of this?

July 7, 2005 4:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg!! this is GREAT!! my best friend is currently in beijing and was disappointed to find SW would be released later in china than in the US. im not sure if shes seen it yet, but i sent her a link to your page. i know shes gonna get a kick out of this!!

July 7, 2005 4:18 AM  
Blogger Greg said...

that's awesome! I'd love a good DVD copy w/the double translations. Now if someone redubbed the audio to match those captions that'd be priceless!

July 7, 2005 4:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please, please fix the broken image links. I need to know the parts I am missing.

July 7, 2005 4:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are some good DVD rips out there if you have a newsgroup membership you should be able to find one no problem.

This is hilarious btw..

July 7, 2005 4:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Backstroke of the West and other translation... this is one of the best jokes :D

Thanks for posting it

July 7, 2005 5:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, I couldn't care for Star Wars until now. You're awesome
- Laura M

July 7, 2005 5:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

total classic, please tell me you have more dodgy translations...

July 7, 2005 5:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tricksy troopseses, they wants the Precious!

July 7, 2005 5:37 AM  
Blogger Taniwha the Wally said...

re Darth Vader's wants.

There is no word in chinese that translates to "No"... you need a verb, like want.

July 7, 2005 5:54 AM  
Anonymous Gem Gamgee said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Omigosh! These are soooo funny! I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud because I'm at work. It didn't work too well...

July 7, 2005 5:57 AM  
Anonymous Anekia Darkmoon said...

I am a "Jedi" like my father before me... Now why the heck didn't my father teach me cool stuff like telekinesis or Telepathy and how to see visions of my other family members at a distance or make them hear me without using a phone....HAH!
Good site :D

July 7, 2005 6:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great find! thanks for sharing it. This ended up posted on a forum I'm an admin on. A few of the pics were down, but the 70% that weren't were more than worth the visit. Who know the Presbyterian Church are the last bastion of the Jedi?

July 7, 2005 6:12 AM  
Anonymous Shoshigana said...

OH MY GOD. Yeah, I'll seed the torrent, too, for the rest of my life, this is so hilarious. I got this URL from a friend of mine, and am sending it to all the StarWars fans I know. DEFNINATELY a must-see. PLEASE torrent! Please please please!


July 7, 2005 6:17 AM  
Blogger Wassernixe said...

I laughed so hard I nearly sprayed coffee all over my screen.

July 7, 2005 7:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Flash Walker has an iron jaw and a granite cock.

July 7, 2005 7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi. I cannot be bothered to scroll up and read all comments, but I think I managed to work out why the sub is as it is (for example, why the word 'elephant' appears at all...) in between bursts of laughter...Basically it is the English translated to proper Chinese, but a catastrophically bad and character by character translationi from that Chinese sub to this 'English' sub...

Good one though, I have to admit...but shameful. If they are going to pirate something, at least they should do it nicely...

July 7, 2005 7:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, an iron jaw AND a granite cock.

He has the makings of a champ...


July 7, 2005 7:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do not want!! troopsses no take precious!!
Do not want!!
im saving this page to HD and burning it on a cd and making 2 copies

July 7, 2005 7:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol great one. Like everyone said please rib this or something.

July 7, 2005 8:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah.. some pics are broken =(

It was funny though, I saw the whole thing before the bandwith was exceeded on a few of the images.

July 7, 2005 8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am I the only one troubled by the fact that China refers to the Sith as the West and the Jedi Order as the Presbyterian Church?

July 7, 2005 8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

need to alter some links you seem to have outsiders hotlinking your images elsewhere.

July 7, 2005 8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

holy frickin crap!

July 7, 2005 9:03 AM  
Anonymous MechDeus said...

I agree - this NEEDS to be torrented. I'll also offer to seed it, this is a treasure that deserves to be spread amongst the masses.

Absolute genius.

July 7, 2005 9:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, my Chinese fellows must have been on crack translating this. Or . . . they have a great sense of humor.

Well, I wish I could have this copy of RotS. I really do.

July 7, 2005 9:38 AM  
Anonymous A said...

Face explode boom with big laughy of smilewide.

July 7, 2005 10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dreamses and troopseses? Smeagol hates the hobitses!

July 7, 2005 10:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

+1 for torrent

July 7, 2005 11:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


July 7, 2005 11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


July 7, 2005 11:53 AM  
Blogger benchilada said...

Hell, I'll BUY a copy from you...please...moxy@tmbg.org

July 7, 2005 11:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, the apparently random profanity might have something to do with the similarity between the Chinese for "do" and "fuck" - "R2, what are you doing?" could become "R2, what are you fucking?" or something of that nature.

July 7, 2005 12:42 PM  
Anonymous Rita said...

Love that the Jedi council Chinese is translated back as Presbyterian Church. It makes some sense, actally -- the ideas of democracy (a real democracy) in which members elect their leaders from amongest themselves.

Huh. Anyway, I'll give that more thought than it deserves. I was raised Presbyterian, but no longer consider myself one. But finally something I can bring up at dinner that's unlikely to offend any of us. Hoo.

Awesome, by the way. Thanks for sharing.

July 7, 2005 1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I've seen one version of the original Chinese translations somewhere around, and really, the translations are perfectly fine. It's only when people try to literally translate the Chinese back into English that chaos ensue. It's hilarious, though.

July 7, 2005 1:07 PM  
Blogger travelkage said...

wahahaha! this rocks so hard!

we saw something similar to this but the movie was Ben Stiller's dodgeball but this one beats it hands down!

July 7, 2005 2:11 PM  
Blogger FatDave said...

I need a copy of this like like a junkie needs a fix. Please, somebody hook us up.

July 7, 2005 3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

quote: If you're not gonna learn how to curse, you shouldn't bother with foriegn languages at all.


July 7, 2005 5:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should totally rip this and have someone seed it on piratebay.org or torrentreactor.net so we can all enjoy it. :D

July 7, 2005 8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is cool! hahaha In the Philippines though a DVD of any movie some aren't shown yet is worth 80 pesos about USD 1.20

July 10, 2005 1:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god. I'm linking this on my website immediately.

July 12, 2005 9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

presbyterian church is not the translation of jedi council but the translation of temple

July 12, 2005 5:53 PM  
Anonymous Padawan Vesta said...

Bad this is! I'm in pain now. Major pain. But it was fun.

July 12, 2005 8:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love "troopseses" - it implies some sort of multiple plural that is philosophically very interesting!

- Katta

July 13, 2005 12:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, im just laughing out loud here.

July 13, 2005 12:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't stop laughing. You win 2.67 internets.

July 13, 2005 4:52 AM  
Anonymous Archon888 said...

Yes, and I guess we americans are better at looking at the pretty pictures than reading the details.

July 13, 2005 5:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please post more engrish movies!!!!

July 13, 2005 6:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

torrent plz :)

July 13, 2005 7:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Umm...when I click "here" it just links back to the first page...I don't see any screenshots anywhere :(

July 13, 2005 10:50 AM  
Anonymous Raptor007 said...

Hahaha WOW comedy gold right there! I gotta find this somewhere.

July 13, 2005 2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, what happened to it, i cant find it or anything, is it down?

July 13, 2005 3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there is it.

July 13, 2005 7:06 PM  
Anonymous Clint said...


lemme me know if the torrent is up, i'll help you seed it!

July 13, 2005 9:02 PM  
Blogger Oswald said...

Absolutely brilliant!

July 13, 2005 10:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you believe in social justice, please read this now! And pass on to
all your fellow activists! The new Star Wars movie (a clever name
based on Regan-era miltiary plans) called "Attack of the Clones" is
racist and conservative. We must stop this menace before it is too

Please see this link:
http://www.detnews.com/2002/en tertainment/0205/18/d01-492788 .htm

To protest this injustice, we at the Democratic Socialists of America
are planning a teach-in and protest march on JUNE 22. Please meet us
in WASHINGTON DC to protest this racist movie, racism and the Zionist
occupation of Palestine.

It is a little known fact that George Lucas is a libertarian
(capitalist imperialist) who hates democracy and fantasizes how we
would be better off under a corporate white EMPIRE. His movies have
yet to portray a single African-American in a positive role, as the
few he has shown are criminals or dictators. Hopefull these actions
will pull the racist movie from theaters, though we will also petition
our democratically elected leaders to better regulate the imperialist,
greedy Big Movie industry to prevent future racist projects to be

Please see the link below for more information.

People, not profits,

Jerome Smith
Web Activist
Democratic Socialists of America

(Yes, this was a real post: http://tinyurl.com/93caq)

July 13, 2005 11:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

spread like wildfire, this site has

July 14, 2005 2:06 AM  
Anonymous nareewong said...

Are there more movies like this? Waaaaaay toooo funny

July 14, 2005 4:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jerome, just an FYI: Libertarians are pretty much at the opposite end of the spectrum from Fascists. Libertarianism is pro-democratic, pro-liberty and pro-equality. Fascists are pro-nationalized business and healthcare, pro-certain races over others and anti-jews. Also there is little evidence that Lucas is libertarian, he is probably a liberal Democrat which is neither libertarian nor fascist.

July 14, 2005 4:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

did u not want to c the english version first or did u think that this would make the film more exciting to watch? they probably should have more films like this- and then claim that ur intelligent if u can understand what is goin on while the stupid people like me don't have a clue wat is goin on!!!
some of it sounds a bit like smeagle from the lord of the rings

July 14, 2005 4:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoy a big fat juicy hot dog, man.

July 14, 2005 7:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Imagine you're Chinese and didn't know a word of English and you only had the Chinese subtitles to rely on when watching foreign flicks. If that's how the Chinese subs actually read, they might have been scratching their heads all throughout.

July 14, 2005 9:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone in L.A. can get find a copy of this at "The Alley". Downtown near Pico and 11th.

July 14, 2005 11:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is sooo freaking funny!! As I read further I laughed harder. Had to show it to everyone, thanks for that bright spot in my day.

The big was a dog fun. Be a leaf in the laughing bringses cold. People cow make telephoned friending, a bathtub greens for popsicles.

July 14, 2005 11:34 AM  
Blogger akosijayr said...

hahahaha! steeg man!

July 14, 2005 1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I gotta get a copy of this video.... TOOO AWESOME!

July 14, 2005 1:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha! 'd' you know that your site is criticized here:

July 14, 2005 9:07 PM  
Anonymous NannyOgg said...

I nearly fell of my chair at work I was laughing so much, everyone in my office thought I was mad until I sent them the link, now they get it

July 14, 2005 10:45 PM  
Anonymous Swiftsword said...

I love you. Seriously. I love you.

You made my day.

Hysterical does not BEGIN to describe my laughter XD. As a Chinese, I can see how it would have been fine in Chinese itself, but translated directly from Chinese into English...good God. I love it. I need a copy of it like fish need water to live. XD.

July 14, 2005 10:55 PM  
Anonymous Kaanah From Livejournal said...

Oh dear god, I love those subtitles! I'd kill for a copy of that DVD! *^.^* I think you got your money's worth...and then some!

July 15, 2005 1:58 AM  
Anonymous Alex said...

That seriously made my week. Or more.
It also made me seriously consider becoming a Presbyterian Knight.

July 15, 2005 2:22 AM  
Anonymous carl sanchez said...

I wish to thank you for the best laugh I have had in an extremely long time.

July 15, 2005 5:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omfg this truely is one of the best weeks of my life and this will actually participate in making this such a fantastic week :D this ROX

July 15, 2005 6:14 AM  
Anonymous Kyle said...

HUMOR these pictures on screen make me funny I really enjoy

July 15, 2005 7:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know some chinese (I'm from Japan, and I spend a summer in China) and the lines from the true film wouldn't even be translated into those subtitles. Not even that poor. It's funny but I don't think it's accurate. I can retranslate just those scenes and most would be different. I think I found slightly accurate but "they want to know him at fuck" is a perfect example of a hoax.

July 15, 2005 8:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This would be the real translation in the scene "they want to know him at fuck". This is such a hoax. It's mildly funny and you probbaly want visits to your blog and I'm all for humor but the trans isn't accurate.

Here's how that scene would really be translated.

ANAKIN: They want me to reconnoiter in chancellor? That' s treason! OBI-WAN: We are to the war, Anakin. The Jedi committee pledges the maintenance republic the principle, since chancellor does not do. ANAKIN: Why did The committee for me this duty works as we are at the conference? OBI-WAN: This duty not will be is recording. The committee requests me personally to approach you in this. ANAKIN: Chancellor is not one unprincipled person, the Obi WAN. His befriended I. He's watches for me after arrives here. OBI-WAN: Why is that you must help us, Anakin. We are loyal are to Senate, is not to tries for a long time to stay behind in the office its leadership expired after his deadline. ANAKIN: The master, Senate requests him for a long time to stay behind. OBI-WAN: Yes, but uses your feeling, Anakin. Something is stems from the place. ANAKIN: You' re requests me to do something opposes the Jedi code. Opposes the republic. Opposes the mentor. And friend. That's what' s stemming from place here. Why is you requests this me? OBI-WAN: The committee is requesting you

July 15, 2005 8:58 AM  
Blogger Ryn said...

Wow... if you haven't already, you should definitely send this to Engrish.com. This is some of the funniest worst translations I've ever read. Ahh... tears came to my eyes...

July 15, 2005 9:28 AM  
Anonymous JediChinaman said...

Now guys. We all know that this is the Pacific Century with China ascendant. Chinese will be spoken everywhere soon. Chinese idioms and words will find their way into all Earth and out of the world languages. SITHtalk may just be the way "English as she is spoke" by then.

July 15, 2005 12:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Many thanks for providing this, the paraamount in hilarity.

July 17, 2005 5:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

r2d2 is fucking? rofl
Hair projections? wtf lol u gotta rip it and torrent it or somthing, this is comedy gold man! you could put this in a movie theater but rip it! omg rip it

July 17, 2005 1:56 PM  
Anonymous Brisa said...

Hahaha, this is great! However, "in the elephant" was mentioned a couple times. I wonder what it is with this elephant and being inside it? Or whatever. But if anybody knows, please E-mail me at
Love it!

July 18, 2005 9:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can you please rip this and upload it to somewhere..wow that is absolutley histerical

July 18, 2005 2:55 PM  
Blogger Andre said...

That's some hilarius stuff. Nice find!

July 18, 2005 8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I usually don't even bother to follow links that ppl send me, most of them being so booooooring... But this was hilarious! My roommate thought I got crazy, the way I laughed. :-)

July 19, 2005 8:52 PM  
Blogger jeremy said...

what can i say guys. this definitely got way past adam's office star wars mailing list.

many tens of thousands of sessions later i now know what it means to be 'boing boinged', 'metafiltered', and to have to wrestle with bandwidth issues.

to the couple of guys saying it's a hoax, it's not. anyone who has been here can attest to the fact that captions on new releases are usually quite inaccurate.

i had a copy of 'gangs of new york' in which the captionist seemingly got bored halfway through the movie and started giving shout-outs to his friends and rambling on about this and that- hilarious stuff. amit, did you watch it yet?

anyway, hope you all enjoyed. as for me, back to the daily grind....

July 19, 2005 10:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow... I guess this is what Chinese people think were watching in America. I wonder where they got that from?

July 20, 2005 12:01 AM  
Blogger Bobby the Blue Baxojayz said...

Those screen caps are the best ever! I need to get a copy of that! I plugged your entry on my blog:


July 20, 2005 3:03 AM  
Blogger ZeNeece said...

Most excellent! Thank you so much for sharing this! I laughed out loud for quite some time.. rock down to .. lemon avenue.. HAHAHA!
I linked to it... www.zeneece.blogspot.com
I just had to pass it along.
Have a great day!

July 20, 2005 3:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is fake.
Someone added those on afterwards.

July 20, 2005 3:56 AM  
Blogger Evarcha said...

I am serious, i need to get a copy of that. I couldn't stop laughing. I am a huge fan of the original trilogy and did enjoy the 3rd installment but this is somehow befitting the attitude towards Lucas in my books. I WIL buy the legit copy when it comes out but I will definately buy THAT copy. The subtitles are PRICELESS. I need it. Hahaha...my god, Grevious's snappy comeback "smelly boy" had my stomach hurting. Great stuff indeed.

July 20, 2005 5:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Possibly the greatest thing-a-majig made...BY HUMANS!

July 20, 2005 7:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bwahahaha! I think I pulled a muscle

July 20, 2005 8:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah..so Darth Vader was in fact Singaporean! Dun Waaaaan! That actually makes a weird kind of sense :)

July 20, 2005 5:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


July 20, 2005 7:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is a tip for buying dvds in china. u really have to check whether it's a copy of the original dvd, or so called 'dian2 ban3' or it's shot during the filming of the movie (ying3 ban3 or qiang1 ban3). only the former is worth buying but it's usu released later than the lousier version. however they will tend to bluff u when u ask, assuring u of the quality. you must check with a lot of people to be sure of this and must be patient.

July 20, 2005 10:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is great! XD

July 20, 2005 11:54 PM  
Anonymous The Hippy' said...

This may

July 21, 2005 3:21 AM  
Anonymous The Hippy's Wife said...

This may have already been said up above, but in addition to being haunted by dreamses, it appears he may also be haunted by Gollum. It's those darn hobbitses... They took the one light saber of power!

July 21, 2005 3:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is something more to this. The Sith are "The West", Anakin is "Allah Gold", and the Jedi is the "Presbyterian Church". Hmm...

July 21, 2005 8:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too much fun. Too much amusing. Tears rolled down my cheeks, my stomach hurt, and I got hiccups out of laughing. My friends and I got a great laugh here in Argentina. :D

July 21, 2005 9:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god.. this is hilarious.
I believe the Chinese-to-English translation was done by some machine translation software. In Chinese "fuck" and "do" are the same word and the machine might have confused them. Cannot figure out where those "elephant"s come from, however.

July 21, 2005 10:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is really funny. Just so everyone knows cuckold means to be made a fool of by having your wife cheating on you. I have no idea where they got that translation. :p thanks for the post, it cheered up my bad day.

July 21, 2005 10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too damned funny.

July 22, 2005 4:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god... that's brilliant!

I've linked to this page at theringworld.com's forums. If you would like me to remove the link, e-mail at celso_pro@hotmail.com

July 22, 2005 4:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The chinese rule. I watched Kill Bill 2 on chinese dvd and the subtitles were just as hilarious, f.e. "Tommy" was "Plum rice" etc. Thanks for posting this!

July 22, 2005 8:29 PM  
Anonymous Todd said...

Dude... i knew Lucas' dialouge was bad, but this! Do not waaaaaant! Im using that instead of "no" now.
I wish all of the pictures would show. I NEED MORE!

July 23, 2005 2:46 AM  
Blogger exchequer said...

owch.. brilliant (in a warped way)! not sure when i'll be able to stop laughing! :-D

July 23, 2005 3:42 AM  
Anonymous mypapit said...

muahahah... it's really hilarious indeed... :) i felt like my stomach wanna burst... hahahhahaha wtf

July 23, 2005 3:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


July 23, 2005 9:28 AM  
Blogger bibliobibuli said...

Brilliant! Thanks so much for making the effort to post this.

July 23, 2005 10:10 AM  
Anonymous PunkFloyd said...

Move over Star Wars kid!

July 23, 2005 10:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my mandarin is bad but I can tell its real: they obviously used "xi", or shi as sith which means west, and a few other things

July 23, 2005 10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

XD this is way i luv HK dvds!

July 23, 2005 1:48 PM  
Anonymous person said...

Wow! That stuff is hilarious. Your site sure has gotten popular. To those saying it's a hoax, actually these mistranslations are entirely plausible. Like Sith can become West because it's ?? (west special) or something like that, and Anakin becomes ??? (ah accept gold) maybe...

July 23, 2005 3:36 PM  
Anonymous NicMac said...


July 23, 2005 4:43 PM  
Anonymous amecrackers said...

Very nice translation huh?

This is one of the worst and the funniest translations i have ever seen in my whole life, as I have learnt that this is direct english translation from chinese. Thank you very much for taking these screenshots...

July 23, 2005 9:11 PM  
Anonymous amecrackers said...

ROFL nice entry...

July 23, 2005 9:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh darn this is so hilarious! Please post this as a torrent somewhere. Really great! Keep up the good work!

July 23, 2005 10:33 PM  
Anonymous Stryker said...

Lol. Well, a friend of mine posted a link to this on a baord, and since I'm the main admin, I check out all links as to make sure nothing voids the contract I have with the board. Well, I recently had my appendix out, and was laughing a horribly large amount due to this... It was worth the pain XD

July 24, 2005 1:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

R2, do you is fucking, great stuff, thanks =)

July 24, 2005 1:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL it's hilarious!! XD thanks a lot for posting that.

July 24, 2005 2:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love all that.

July 24, 2005 3:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

funny. can someone please explain why the chinese star wars had to be translated back into english? was it dubbed in chinese?

July 24, 2005 5:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


-- JessyChan

July 24, 2005 6:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One of the funniest things ever.

July 24, 2005 9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I’m impressed…

July 24, 2005 3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am laughed too
out louder to this
is posting!

July 25, 2005 1:17 AM  
Anonymous rentahero said...

Any chance of seeing just the subs ripped with DVDSub? It can rip the subs into a small text file and then when the official DVD comes out, millions of people could enjoy Backstroke of the West as it was originally intended.
... I know I'd appreciate it :)

July 25, 2005 8:48 AM  
Blogger jeremy said...

hi rentahero,

that should be ok- no worries about copyright issues as i doubt a chinese bootlegger will sue me. i downloaded subrip but i can't figure out how to extract all of the subtitles- it goes line by line.

can you send me a copy of dvdsub and some instructions? i'll rip the subtitles and put them up. if you have any directions as to how people can somehow use it for their copies, let me know and i'll put up the instructions too- or link to your page.


July 25, 2005 10:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow. this is the funniest thing I've read/seen in a long time...

engrish gets me everytime.

July 25, 2005 1:29 PM  
Anonymous BokuraChan said...

this is halarious!!!XD i want a copy of this if there is a torrent for it!!!

July 25, 2005 5:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have the link for this posted from a frend of explosive, an Englys-Finnish transistor like i(he also movie freek big).

He should been warning me! I feer that my crisp of englys linguistic is have impaires permonthly!


July 25, 2005 9:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'll give you five bucks for it.

July 26, 2005 2:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...I've never seen that happen on a DVD b4...WAY too funny and WAY too muc h mistakes....ROFL

July 26, 2005 6:16 AM  
Anonymous rentahero said...

Whoops, yeah, SubRip was what I meant. It goes line by line for awhile but then once you've input examples for the whole font, it zooms through the rest and outputs a text file that can be used to reconstruct the subs on a DVD. You can also make a .sup file (which is the actual subtitle data the DVD players use) using a tool called VOBEdit (http://www.ifoedit.com/). Just open the VOB files on the DVD (by selecting the first one) and then hit Demux, and tell it to demux all Subp streams, and then it should output the files to your HD.

July 26, 2005 10:08 AM  
Anonymous inaam said...

i've seen some south asian subtitles that are really bad, but this takes the cake.
who gets paid to this!!!
i want that job!!

July 26, 2005 10:30 AM  
Anonymous Kinoko said...

GAHH!! The wish power is indeed strong in these~! XD;;
I want one of those DVDs so bad.
And.. the whole thing was so damn inspirational, I drew this: [link]

=^w^= {<3)

July 26, 2005 11:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't worry about copyright issues, just rip it and put it on torrentspy. don't mention it in here. some anonymous will see it and put it in the comments.

July 26, 2005 1:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there would be a long time that he would be the only seed, and therefore all the malevolent forces in the universe would be able to identify him as the source. a copy of the subs would be fine, I'm sure some other capable individual will be able to take them and make them apply to the retail release when it comes out (hell, I know I will if I ever get my hands on them)

July 27, 2005 12:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


The man (woman?) who does translate this must be a complete dummy

July 27, 2005 1:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dont get it. the movie is in english so why subtitle it in english? this some kinda novelty?

July 27, 2005 3:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


July 27, 2005 11:13 AM  

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